Adopting Twins – A mother tells her story of adopting twins

Adopting Twins a Mother Story of Adoption

Image Courtesy of Dollar Photo Club

Our story starts about four years ago when we first started the adoption process. We did some research and signed up with a local office of a national agency. It took about six months to get “live” in their system, and we were just one of 400+ couples/people trying to adopt via this agency.

We had an 800 number and an email address where potential birth mothers contacted us directly. We dealt with a lot of silence and a lot of fake birth mothers for just about a year before we got our first real potential birth mother.

S was just 20, from Arizona, but was living locally for the time being. She was in a really bad situation as she had two small children and was pregnant with her third (in her seventh month when we matched). Her home situation was really just unsettled and full of chaos. As she contacted us directly via the number, we had a lot of calls at all hours of the day and night. She would also go MIA for days on end and send us into a panic. We hung in there and unfortunately, just a couple weeks before the baby, a boy, was due, she had a miscarriage. We never were able to get the details.

We jumped right back into it and again had a lot of silence and fake calls and about a year and a half later were contacted by another potential birth mother, V. She was 18, from Missouri and was about five weeks away from her due date. We flew to Missouri to meet with her, her family and her boyfriend. We spent the day with them and they were all truly wonderful. We thought this was “the one” and flew home feeling great. It was going to be tricky as our agency wasn’t licensed in Missouri and so we’d have to hire and pay for a separate attorney and social worker to handle things. We would also have to live in Missouri for at least two weeks while all of the inter-state adoption paperwork was signed and filed in both Missouri and Indiana. It was stressful to try and figure all of these pieces out, but we were navigating it. Robyn had just accepted a promotion at her workplace and her workplace was also going through a massive reorganization. When Robyn approached her new boss with this news and a plan on how it would all work out (it involved Robyn working remotely for those weeks we lived in Missouri with a newborn and then working from home for the next six weeks. If that didn’t work or was too much, Robyn agreed to use all available vacation days and take six weeks unpaid FMLA, as her company did not offer any type of paid maternity leave for adoptions) her boss was not supportive. As that point, things fell apart and we were not keeping promises we made to the birth mother and we dropped out of this adoption.

From there, our agency took us out of live rotation and we really thought we were finished with trying to adopt. However, it just didn’t seem like it was over. We talked a lot and went to counseling and realized we wanted this. We communicated with our agency and had to jump through A LOT of hoops to finally get reactivated–mind you, we’d paid them more than 20K at this point. We both had this nagging feeling that this wasn’t the agency for us. We were still just one of 400+ couples/people trying to adopt and it felt like too much had transpired to have everyone be unbiased. We talked to some friends who had started with an agency, but dropped out when they unexpectedly got pregnant. They really spoke highly of them. I called that agency and signed up for an information session.

We went to the info session in January, we paid a fee and signed up for the big daddy, officially session for February. We were all in at that point. We took that February session, and were live in their system two weeks later–mind you, this took six months at our former agency. Two weeks after that, the agency contacted us with a birth mother that wanted to meet us, L.

We met our adoption coordinator, Alli, and L at a restaurant for breakfast later that week. L was in a rough situation, she was 21 had two other small children that weren’t living with her, but with her estranged mother. She had contacted the agency when she was pregnant with her last baby but backed out at the last minute. She was currently homeless and couch surfing–the agency was trying to find her a more permanent, safe place to live. We had good conversation and hit it off. L even had ultra sound photos–we’d never had those from any birth mother. It was nice, there was View A and View B… WAIT A MINUTE, it’s TWINS! GIRLS! We were delighted, to say the least.

L’s life was very chaotic and we were so glad that the new agency was the front line with all of this. We only heard things we needed to. Robyn went with Alli and L (Alli would always pick L up and drop her off) to doctor appointments–weekly at this point–and aside from being small, the babies seemed to be doing well. Baby A would even jump all around when Robyn would talk. Alli, L and Robyn would go to eat after the appointments and Robyn would get extra food for L to take with her so she would be sure to eat. During this time, the man that L named as the father signed away his rights to the babies.

L had been having some contractions and had to go to the hospital in Mid May–her due date was mid July. They were able to stop the contractions and gave L two doses of steroids during the couple days she was in the hospital.

On June 3rd, we got a call from Alli that L was in a lot of pain and was maybe going to go to the hospital again and that she’d be in touch. We didn’t think much about it, as it had happened before. About an hour later, we got a frantic call from Alli that this WAS IT and to get our butts to the hospital! We got there just in time and Robyn suited up for the delivery room.

It was an emergency c-section, and babies were struggling to breath, but luckily the steroid shots had worked well on their lungs. We stayed at the hospital until late into the night. L was doing well, the babies were stabilizing in the NICU. They were both 3.2 pounds of fight.

When we got to the hospital the next morning, things had changed. We were told to leave by the hospital social worker–L had kicked us out; however, L did ask for Alli to come be with her. We went home and tried to pretend that everything was okay. Late that night, L called us and asked us to come to the hospital in the morning.

We came the next morning and L was a completely different person and she was the L we had known these weeks. She was happy and excited about the adoption and had even gotten approval from the hospital social worker to sign the papers a day early. The papers were signed that afternoon and L checked herself out of the hospital–but not before we had all taken photos together and with the babies and gotten them developed and given a photo book to L.

We promised to keep in touch and set up a regular day/time that we would text her photos of the girls and updates. From there, we started to visit with the girls in the NICU 2-3 times per day. We did skin on skin contact–the only time they could get out of their incubators at that point– we brought in photos of us, snuggle blankets and would just watch and touch them through the incubator holes. They were starting to move in the right direction, but remained in their incubators for about two weeks.

Just about that time, we received notification from our attorney that two different people had filed to contest the adoption, claiming they were the actual father, not the man the birth mother listed. We were shocked, confused and devastated. We had gone from thinking everything was a done deal to everything being up in the air.

We immediately set out to try and get the DNA of the man the birth mother listed as the father. He was not super excited to be part of this as he’s fathered multiple children with multiple women and doesn’t have anything to do with any of them. Luckily our adoption agency and coordinator, Alli, was in our corner and they were doing everything they could to help. Alli and a co worker went to his last known address and caught him by surprise. They said no one would know that he submitted DNA and he finally gave the swab.

In the meantime, we were still seeing the girls and they were getting bigger and stronger every day. We were at the beginning of July and got word that one of them, Sutton, was going to be released. This was all we had waited for, but now we weren’t sure if they were ours and knew we couldn’t have them at home with us and possibly have to give them up. Our agency works with an organization called Safe Families. When they contacted Safe Families and explained our situation, they agreed to help. They found two families who agreed to each take one of our girls in while this worked out. We met the families and they were wonderful. They was relieving and devastating at the same time.

On July 3rd, Sutton was released and we drove her over to her family. They were so kind and it was just so hard. We set up a visitation schedule, knew that she would be safe and loved and had to leave her there. Many tears were shed.

That next week we had to divide and conquer so we could visit each baby regularly. It was hard, but things were going well and both girls were thriving. Then, a week later, it was Harper’s turn to leave the hospital. About that same time, we got word on the first DNA test and the man the birth mother listed as the father was a 0.0% match. We were absolutely devastated. We now knew there was a very real chance these girls were not going to be ours. At this point, we had to consider walking away and protecting ourselves, however, it was more important to protect the girls and make sure they were safe and being well cared for at this really important time. both were barely 4 pounds and really need a lot of care and attention. If we walked away, they would got back to the birth mother who was struggling, and continues to struggle, with drug and alcohol use, and we weren’t going to do that.

To try and protect ourselves and make sure we could go on living if our babies weren’t going to be ours we had to step away while we tracked down these three men who had filed for paternity, hoping that if we paid for the tests and came to them, that they’d give us DNA.. We set Harper up with her family and knew they would love her and take wonderful care of her. We then said a hopefully, temporary goodbye to the girls, knowing they both would be loved and cared for. More tears were shed, so many tears.

Our attorney was amazing is tracking these guys down. It’s mid July at this point and we’re trying to just get through day by day.

One man’s mother was involved and forced him to give DNA straight away and even paid for a portion of the test. After missing a couple of dates–none of the men actually filed the claims, it was family members–we got his DNA.

A few days later–during a wonderful night in Louisville that Todd’s team from work set up and paid for so we could just get away and enjoy ourselves–we found out that this man was a 0.0% DNA match. At this point, it was almost laughable, had it not been so freaking awful.

Our attorney set out to get DNA from the final man. He proved squirrely. It was his sisters that had filed the claim and he had even lawyered up. We’d contact the lawyer, the lawyer would contact him and then nothing. This happened a couple times. We then filed a court date with the courts to force a DNA test and made it clear that if it went this far, he’d be paying his, and our, attorney fees as well as for the DNA test, since we’d offered to come to him and to pay for the test. That got him moving after a few more days. We got his DNA and waited with baited breath.

Late on Friday, August 1st, we got a call from our attorney telling us this last guy was a 0.0% DNA match. We were in shock. SHOCK. Alli called us and said she’d been in touch with the family taking care of the girls–during the DNA testing period of about two weeks the families taking care of them just couldn’t bear to keep them apart so after being separated for a week, both girls were with the same family–and we were to be there at 9am shop to pick up OUR BABIES!

So, on August 2nd we got our girls and brought them home. It’s been crazy wonderful every day since.

 

 

Have an Epic Childhood with inspirations in light play

Today we welcome Kristen from Epic Childhood. In addition to being a mum to 5 children including twins, she is busy blogging about everyday fun and educational activities. Plus she has a wonderful curated Pinterest account sharing heaps of education ideas and inspirations in light play.

Why did you start your blog?

 I wanted to showcase all of my twins unique toys and eclectic way of play, especially light table play and light play.  light table play and light play
Plus, my twins have been homeschooled since preschool and I blog about that too.  I consider myself an expert in light tables, play and learning on light tables, and different types of light play.  I also have studied Montessori and Reggio Emilia over the past 5 years.  Our homeschooling is both Reggio Emilia and Montessori inspired.  I am a firm believer in play based learning, I have singletons age 19, 16, and 15.  I did not homeschool them.
The new ways of how children are subjected to the common core standards in school have made me decide to educate myself in alternative learning methods. This is what also drove me to want to homeschool.
I enjoy helping other mothers through my blog to learn new ways for their children to play and learn.  My twins have no lost parts to toys, no broken toys, the toys are not all over the room, and they are kept very tidy.I thank both the Montessori and Reggio Emilia approaches to play and learning for this. When they were two, I made huge changes to their toys and how their room is set up. It has made an enormous difference.
I only wish I had all of this knowledge when my older children were little. I would have brought them up with Montessori and Reggio Emilia influence. I moved out the more common toys, anything blinky or noisy, and started bringing in open ended toys that promote creativity and intelligence. It’s all history from there, and documented on my blog!    I am happy to take any emailed question from other Moms. :)

Where you surprised to discover you were carrying twins?

Yes we were very surprised.  There have not been twins in either side of our family in more than 50 years.
There have never been twins on my husbands side of the family.

What was your pregnancy like?

I had preeclampsia and it resulted in having to deliver at 32 weeks 3 days.  They were in the NICU for 28 and 30 days.  Graham came home at 28 days old, and Parker at 30 days old.

What has been your biggest accomplishment these part 12 months?

I think my biggest accomplishment on my blogging has been that my Pinterest now has over 72,000 followers.

What is your best advice for new parents of multiples?

Don’t feel like you can’t ask others for advice. Sometimes other Moms of multiples have wonderful ideas and advice.
What questions do you have the families of Multiples and More? Do any other families homeschool? Do any other Moms of multiples blog?
Twin Epic Childhood

What is your favourite blog post you want to share?

I would love to share my
and my website for Light table play and light play information and ideas  http://www.theultimatelighttableguide.com/
 light table play and light play

Visit www.pinterest.com/LightTableGuide/ for amazing ideas in Light Games

 light table play and light play

Identical Triplets with Jane’t of Pitts Trips!

The featured blogger of the week is Janét of Pitts Trips! Janét is the proud mom of 4 year old triplets Caleb, Elias, and Thomas.

Why did you start your blog?

I started early on in my pregnancy after my husband suggested it. We figured it would be a good way for friends and family to follow my pregnancy and the triplets once they arrived. While pregnant, I in turn read all the triplet blogs I could find. They served as a window for what would or could happen in my near future. They really helped put me at ease that, yes, I could get through the pregnancy and survive raising triplet babies. I hope by blog will do the same for others too. It didn’t start out this way but my blog has really turned into a hobby now and I really enjoy updating it with my boys’ milestones, funny things they say or do, and the unique challenges we face raising triplets.

Were you surprised to discover you were carrying identical triplets (tell us more)?

Absolutely! I had never even entertained the idea that I could possibly become pregnant with twins let alone triplets! There isn’t a single set of multiples on either side of our families, nor did anyone close to us have any. It was such a foreign concept that it just never crossed my mind. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I quickly contaIdentical Triplets with Jane't of Pittscted my doctor so I could go in for an ultrasound. I was feeling nervous because my last pregnancy, a couple of months before, ended in a miscarriage so I was anxious to see if everything was ok. We went in at 8 weeks pregnant and as the ultrasound tech was moving her wand around, we asked “so you see a heartbeat?” After a brief pause she replied slightly matter of fact, “I see three babies.” And then what we were seeing on the screen finally made sense, it was as clear as day. Undeniably there were three little peanuts there, each with their own heartbeat! We were so astounded that we were a bit speechless. Next we found out that all three were sharing the sameplacenta thereby making them not only identical triplets but also making this an even riskier pregnancy. When sharing a placenta, they could develop a potentially very dangerous condition called TTTS where the nutrients don’t get evenly distributed between them. The more babies that share a placenta the higher the chances of developing TTTS. So I lived in a fog of disbelief for the next week or two until the reality of everything really sunk in. It was both an exciting and terrifying time!

 Just how rare are identical triplets?

Don’t believe all the news stories that say it’s one in a million or even worse one in 200,000 million. Those statistics are over inflated and identical triplets, while being the rarest type of triplets, are not THAT rare. There are no official numbers but a fellow parent of identical triplets that is good with numbers and statistics calculated it to be closer to 1 in 130,000 pregnancies. So rounding up a little, there is a 0.001% chance that any woman could become pregnant with spontaneous identical triplets!

What was your pregnancy like?

Unlike what I expected, I sailed through my pregnancy without a single major problem but of course I was full of discomforts! Thankfully no TTTS and I simply went into labor at 34 weeks and my boys were born all breathing on their own and healthy.

What has been your biggest accomplishment these past 12 months?

Surviving theIdentical Triplets with Jane't of Pitts terrible threes time three, which by the way, was way worse than the terrible twos! Now that my boys are 4 and a half I feel less frustrated and less mentally exhausted at the end of the day than I used to just a year ago. They are really coming into a fun age with less tantrums and less fighting. I can reason with them, they are calmer and they get along with each other so much better. When out in public I no longer fear that they’ll wander off. I used to find it terrifying to take them to restaurants but now we don’t even think twice about going out to eat. You can really see them becoming civilized human beings!

Now don’t get me wrong, there is still plenty of naughtiness and fighting going on in our house but I suspect that will carry on for years to come!

What is your best advice for a new parents of multiples?

What ever difficult stage you’re in no matter how awful will pass relatively quickly. Even though at the time it feels like it’ll never end, just remind yourself that it will. I wish I had done this more in the early days because I stressed out way too much. Learning to breastfeed, sleeping through the night, learning to talk, and potty training seemed like insurmountable milestones at the time. I honestly never thought we’d get passed the newborn stage, yet here we are more than 4 years later! Time goes by so quickly when you have kids.

What question or questions do you have for the families in the community?

Bed wetting runs on both sides of our families and my boys seem to have inherited this unfortunate trait. Our pediatrician told us not to worry about it until they turn 5 but we are quickly approaching their birthday with no sign of it stopping anytime soon. They wake up wet pretty much every single morning and even have trouble staying dry through their 2 hour nap. I’d love some advice from those who have been through this. What did you do to get your older bedwetting kids nighttime trained?

What is your favorite blog post to share with the Multiples and More?

My favorites are always the ‘personality updates’ that I try to do once every year or so. I get asked all the time if my identical triplets have different personalities. They share so many similarities besides their physical appearance. All our milestones have happened within days if not a week from each other so it’s nice to sit down and really reflect on why they seem so different to me! It’s also great to read their updates from years past and see what aspects of their personality are the same and what is different about each one now. Here is my latest entry Personalities 4.5

http://pittsenbargertrips.blogspot.com/2015/04/personalities-40.html

Janét Pittsenbarger

Identical Triplets with Jane't of Pitts

Preparing for Twins and Prematurity

Today’s Featured Blogger is Emily from uptoyourtoes.com. Emily is mum to twins and just had baby number 4 so please pop over to her blog and say hello to baby Eloise.
Emily writes,
“Prematurity is a lot of what my blog has been about, since my twins were born so preemie. We’re now starting to venture into the special needs world as my twins are 3 and my son still isn’t “caught up” and “typically developing”. I just participated as a veteran mom on new/expecting multiples mom panel at our local multiples club and I would say prematurity (what the NICU is like, what to expect, etc) and how to get out of the house with multiples were the biggest topics we were asked about. We spent a lot of time in the NICU, 54 days, and even with their prematurity and lugging around a pulsox and o2 canister, I never felt like we were “stuck at home” and it made me sad to hear so many new multiple moms felt like they were trapped and could never go anywhere with their babies!”

So here is Emily’s article on Twins and Prematurity.

So you’re having multiples! Congratulations! And with that, you get double (or more!) of the aches, pains, nausea, and doctors visits. It’s a whole new world. But beyond that, when your babies arrive, is another world that parents hope and pray they don’t become a part of, the prematurity world.

It’s not surprise that having multiple babies also means increased risk of prematurity. When they said we were having twins though, it was the farthest thing from my mind. We started seeing our high risk maternal fetal medicine doctor and I was told I had “easy twins” (aka di/di). I was told I’d be just fine. Every appointment, I wasn’t having babies anytime soon. Until I was. And I was in the NICU, with newborn twins.

 

Recently I had the opportunity to be on a new mom panel at our local multiples club and I was surprised at how man questions came up about the NICU experience and premature births. I thought it was so great for these soon-to-be moms and dads of multiples preparing for what could be a very real experience, and a very difficult one. I thought I would answer some of the most popular questions from the day from our experience with my 27 week preemie twins.

What is it like having a baby in the NICU?

At first, incredibly overwhelming and confusing. You are hearing acronyms left and right and body parts you didn’t even think to worry about as major concerns. Your first concerns are brain, heart and lungs but eyes, skin, and many more body parts come into play in a premature birth. It’s a whole new lesson in anatomy, even if you aced A&P in college 😉 There will be machines, tubes, wires, the works, everywhere you look, especially since you have 2 or more babies to look at.

 

 

There will be lots of beeping noises, some good, some not so good. You will be over stimulated and over informed. Don’t think you’re the only one who felt like you were about to pass out from the amount of information being thrown your way. Take a deep breath, listen, and trust the doctors and nurses are doing everything in their power to help your babies. You will adjust to the craziness. Get to know the acronyms. Understand all the different beeps and what they mean…and when you should appropriately freak out. And the tubes and wires will start to dwindle as the days go by.

What is the NICU like emotionally?

Well, that’s just digging right in there isn’t it? When you first get to the NICU, the nurses will say it is a rollercoaster and that is honestly, the best way to describe it. You will have days where you are hearing nothing but great things about your babies. Then you will have days when one or more babies is struggling. No matter how much good news you get, expect a little bad. Even after you’re home, you’re not out of the preemie world, but you will learn to love and embrace it. But the rollercoaster doesn’t end for quite some time.

How long will my babies have to be in the NICU?

This was a super popular question, but sadly, it can’t really be answered. Each situation is unique. Each baby will go on their own schedule. You want to know if you’ll be there for a few days or a few weeks to prepare for how you’re going to handle other kids at home, school, work, juggling life. Of course, the earlier your multiples are born, the longer they will be in the NICU. You can expect to be there until around your due date. Some babies come home earlier than that, some later. It’s hard to tell. If you have your babies at 30 weeks, expect a 10 week stay. If you have them at 35 weeks, you might only need a day or 2 in the NICU. But it all depends on a lot of different things. For preemies, the milestones they need to reach to be discharged are growing and above the 4ish pound mark, eating on their own, breathing on their own, be able to ride in a carseat for the length of the car ride home from the hospital, and keeping their body temperature up. Those are just the basics. Many other health issues can come into play. But that might give you some idea of where your babies need to get to in order to be able to come home.

How can friends and family help a NICU family?

This is a great question and PLEASE don’t be afraid to ask for help! When you have a new baby, people flood to bring you meals, stop by and see the baby and visit, but with a NICU experience, friends and family seem to back off. They want to respect your space, don’t seem to know how to help, and don’t seem to be as celebratory as people are with a new full-term birth. But you will be pumping 24/7, running back and forth to the hospital, and just as busy…maybe busier, than you would be if they were home! While friends and family won’t be able to visit with the babies, they can still help you at home. Dropping meals off is an incredible help! After spending all day at the hospital, the last thing you want to worry about is cooking dinner. Have someone clean your house, or maybe baby gift a cleaning service. You will be at the hospital a lot. If you or your spouse goes back to work, you’ll be swamped and exhausted. Taking cleaning off of your plate is a huge help. Offer to babysit older siblings, take them for a day at the park, and make them feel included. It’s hard for big siblings to be involved. They might not be allowed in the NICU. You will be spending time away from them to be in the hospital with your new babies. It’s hard. Having a close friend or family member take them for a day at a park, to the library, on a fun playdate to help keep them busy while you focus on your new babies is a big help! You won’t need clothes, diapers, help feeding and caring for them right away, but you will need help with your every day life so don’t be afraid to ask and accept help!

What if I can’t handle the NICU?

This wasn’t specifically asked, but I want to touch on this subject that came up a few times and many moms seemed scared to ask this outright.  And I want every mom and even dad’s to know, especially if you have an extremely premature birth, it’s ok to get help and there are people who will help you! The NICU doctors and nurses will be asking you how YOU are quite frequently. It’s ok to say you’re not ok. They don’t expect you to have your act completely together. Your OB should also be following up and making sure you’re emotionally ok. I thought I was handling the stress well. I thought I could do it all. I was traveling an hour every day to the NICU, spending my entire day there, going home and pumping and sleeping. I was across the country from my husband since he had to work in California and my twins decided they wanted to be born in Pennsylvania while I was visiting. I had my parents support, but at my follow-up with my OB, he quickly said I wasn’t ok and needed help. He prescribed me an anti-anxiety medicine and I was very hesitant to fill the scrip. I thought I could handle it all. I think when they told me my son had a brain bleed was when I lost it and finally realized I did need help and I wasn’t handling this stressful situation as flawlessly as I had thought I was in my head.

 

 You are a supermom (and dad) and you’re handling it all great, but it’s ok to ask for help from doctors and family and even take medicine if you need it. Don’t be afraid to talk about how YOU are with the doctors and nurses so they can get you the help that you need to be the best parent possible for your baby! Don’t let the stress and anxiety take over your life. You need to be able to make decisions for your little ones and you need to be in a good mindset to do that. Post partum depression is very common in premature births so don’t feel like you’re alone and have no one to help you! There is help. And don’t be scared to get it!

 

So I hope this helps everyone expecting multiples and a little anxious about the NICU experience. Prematurity is not something to take lightly, it could very quickly happen to your babies, but if you go into it knowing some of these things, I hope it won’t be too overwhelming. You are still giving birth to beautiful babies and even if they need a few extra weeks of help, you should enjoy them, celebrate them, make every day with them as special as you can!  The NICU time will go by quickly and your babies will be home before you know it!

Visit Emily on her blog at uptoyourtoes.com.

Twinthusiasm: Survival Lessons for Your First Year Parenting Twins

This week I met another Twin mum who is an author and written her own book on Survival Lesson on the First Year of Parenting Twins. I was given the opportunity to review this book and what a beautiful guide book it is. Something I would definitely wish I had read with my babies were little. The book covers tips on how to be prepared medically, by organisation and personally. It then discusses survival lessons on help, sleep, schedule and self-care.  My mum (who coincidentally also had twins – my sisters) would always say it does get easier, and it did. Now my girls are 5 I read this book with fondness of how the hell did I survive the first year? Well I did and you will as well! Read on and enjoy Cara’s interview and if you are a new Twin Mum you can buy the Book on Amazon by clicking the link below.

What inspired you to write this book?

TwinthusiasmWhen I first found out I was pregnant with twins, I really had no idea what to expect and was more than a little nervous! I was a first-time parent and didn’t have any friends that had undergone a similar experience. As I came to find out, a twin pregnancy and the first year with two babies is crazy in a way only a multiples mom can understand. I felt that there needed to be more encouraging voices out there for twin moms-to-be. I started my blog www.twinthusiasm.com in 2011 during my first pregnancy as a way to document my experiences as well as reach out to other moms. Over the years I compiled a range of hopefully useful tips and wanted to share my successes (and frustrations) with other parents who could use a virtual “cheerleader.”

Now, my twins girls are four years old and I have a six-month-old singleton boy. Having a singleton child gave me additional perspective on my first year as a parent. Twin moms are truly super-parents!


BOOK DESCRIPTION:

Navigating a twin pregnancy and the first year with two babies can be more than a little crazy. Twinthusiasm: Survival Lessons for Your First Year Parenting Twins offers moral support and useful tips – served with a dash of humor – to help you survive the wild ride.

Twinthusiasm includes helpful insights on preparing your home during your pregnancy, asking for the help you’ll need, breastfeeding, getting your twins on a schedule, handling sleep deprivation – as well as time savers, money savers, and sanity savers. Bundling encouragement with practical advice and Cara Krenn personal anecdotes, this book serves as a cheerleader for multiples parents everywhere.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Cara Krenn is the mother of fraternal twin girls and a singleton boy. Her writing on parenting twins has appeared on Babble.com, in Multiplicity Magazine, Twins Magazine, and others. She is a graduate of the University of Notre Dame. Read more at www.twinthusiasm.com.

 

First Time Father of Triplets Shares his story

Father of Triplets

The Featured Blogger Interview today is from Paul. He has recently started blogging at First Time Father Triplets  where he is sharing his journey from conception to the pending birth to Fatherhood. If you are a Triplet mum or dad feel free to reach out and connect with Paul and his blog as he asked the big question we all once asked ourselves, “”How do you do it?” Ha, ha, I mean seriously!!!”

Why did you start your blog?

I started writing the blog as a way for me to capture the feelings and emotions that I was going through as a first time father at age 48. Plus it was a good way for us to go back and relive each step and emotion as they happened. I have never blogged before and I wasn’t sure how I would come across in written form. Hopefully in the future our kids will be able to go back and experience the feelings and emotions we were going through during this wonderful process…

How did you find out your partner was carrying Triplets?

So we go in for our first scheduled appointment and Melanie the Nurse Practitioner asks us about our family history, etc. She gets Rachel ready for the sonogram and just like we expected we’re having a baby!

Melanie measures the fetus and it is approximately 9 weeks 4 days. While measuring – Melanie shrieks “Oh My God!”

ME: What? What’s wrong? Is there a problem?

Melanie calmly says: No, not really. She then asks us if we were using any fertility drugs or if twins or multiple births were common in either of our families.

Rachel’s father has a cousin that had natural triplets. Nothing on my side of the family.

Melanie: “Well, you are having TWINS!” I was shocked, but extremely happy.

She starts to measure the baby B and it’s about the same size 9 weeks, 3 days. Again she shrieks “OMG!”

I had already asked her not to do that!

ME: What’s wrong, is there a problem?

Melanie: Do you guys see what I see?

ME: Yeah you mean that third one right there? I thought you were talking about that one to begin with!

Melanie: “You’re having TRIPLETS!!!” Then she looks at me and asks “Are you all right, do you need to sit down?”

ME: No, no, I’m fine, it is what it is, right??? :-) BREATHE, breathe!!!

OMG – talk about your mind racing, how did this happen? (I know how it happened, SILLY!) At this point Rachel has this shit eating grin on her face! I am pretty sure she was in shock, but extremely happy. I am too!!!

How did you announce your pregnancy to your friends and family?

We wanted to hold on to it for a couple of weeks, because we had lost a baby in October 2014. We manage to hold off for a few weeks, and we started out by sharing with some of our close friends and family. After about a month, we could no longer hide what was going on. Rachel was definitely showing and missing a lot of time at work. We finally came clean and had to tell everybody (including co-workers, we work together at the same company) so that was a little awkward! Everybody was in shock at first, but seemed really happy once they realized we were not joking! (It didn’t help that we started to tell everybody our news on April 1st!)

How are you preparing for a Multiple pregnancy and birth?

At first I went to the internet and started reading every blog that was out there. I joined various forums and searched high and low for anything that I thought would be helpful. There is a ton of information out there. Maybe too much! It seemed like the best advice came from a book on multiple pregnancy written by Dr. Barbara Luke. She gave us realistic goals on weight gain and the amount of nutrition that was needed to carry the babies for as long as possible. We also saw Dr. Danny Wu at Kaiser San Francisco and he was able to answer any questions/fears that we had on the pregnancy/birthing process.

What question or questions do you have for the families in the community?

I guess the biggest question I have is – “How do you do it?” Ha, ha, I mean seriously!!!

What is your favourite blog post to share with the Multiples and More?

I think one of the best blog posts that I have read has to be Tips on Triplets. I really like how it was written from the father’s point of view and I can totally relate to everything that they went through in early pregnancy. It is also a grim reminder that no matter how prepared we are, things can happen that are totally out of our control and that we need to relate our experience to help others that might be on the same path. I think that was a goal that I had in mind when I started to blog about this process. If I could help just one person/couple – it would be totally worth it!

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