Handling What People Say

 

image

My twin girls are four. By now, the “You’ve got your hands full!” comments are old hat. The “Better you than me!” comments are still inappropriate, but they don’t cause my blood pressure to rise the way they once did. My canned answer to “Double trouble!” is, “Double blessings!” and I roll right along.

I think that people are generally nice. They want to make conversation. But they don’t always know what to say. And when they do say something, they don’t always listen to what comes out of their mouths.

Once upon a time, when the girls were much smaller, my focus was more on getting through a store during “awake time”, when my girls were content to look around in their stroller. The biggest challenge about comments from random people was that they potentially slowed me down, threatening to get me off schedule.

These days, though, the challenges are greater. No, I don’t want to be in the grocery store any longer than I have to with two curious four-year olds…but I also want to be careful with my girls’ tender hearts. I may overthink it, but I fear too many, “You’ve got your hands full!” comments might make the girls question one day if they’re a burden.

That in mind, I had The Worst Experience last week when I was at the grocery store with Baby B, a rare one-on-one “date” for the two of us. We were waiting (a long time) in the checkout line. We started chatting with the nice grandmother behind us. She was super sweet, and she engaged B right away. I love for the girls to practice their conversation skills…and it helped keep her little hands away from the ginormous candy display.

Everything was going great until the lady asked if B had any brothers or sisters. When she learned that Twin Sister was at home, she said to B, “I’ll bet you’re the pretty one, right?”

My heart sank.

I piped in immediately. “No, both my girls are beautiful, inside and out! And they are super smart, too. And they are so kind and loving towards each other. We’re very blessed.”

There again, I know the lady didn’t mean any harm. I know she was just trying to engage with B, and I’m certain she didn’t THINK before she said that

My responses these days can no longer be geared just towards getting on my way as quickly as possible. My girls are watching. They are listening.

I’m trying to model grace. And I’m trying to protect my girls’ precious tender hearts. I can’t expect the random lady at the grocery store to have that in mind when she makes idle chit-chat. In reality, I know the onus is on me.

How do you handle comments from strangers? What’s the “worst” thing you’ve ever heard?

Keep up with Mandy and her adorable girls at Twin Trials and Triumphs!

Boys

When I found out we were going to have twins, many years ago, I had a strong feeling that whatever they were (boys or girls), they were the same. I just knew from the moment I first saw two little heart beats that there was not one boy and one girl. Call it mother’s intuition or whatever you will, but every part of me knew they were the same. Did you ever just know something about your babies? I would love to hear the story.

As the pregnancy progressed, people would ask what I was hoping for (boys, girls, one of each). Of course I replied that I was just hoping for two healthy babies in the end. And that is the honest truth, but secretly, deep down…..I wanted boys.

I wanted boys that Chris could take hunting and fishing. I wanted boys that would have me wrapped around their little fingers (which they totally do). I wanted boys that would love being outside, love camping, and love their momma. I also secretly wanted boys who could take the trash out and mow the grass. I wanted low maintenance boys that didn’t include costly hair bows and frilly dresses.

When the long awaited sonogram finally arrived, I could hardly contain my excitement. (I don’t know how those people who don’t find out can possibly manage.) With Chris by my side, the sonogram tech looked up at us and proudly announced that Baby A was a boy. I grinned from ear to ear. I told Chris that I knew we had two boys. He was still a little skeptical — not a firm believer in mother’s intuition. The sonogram tech quickly moved on to Baby B and confirmed that Baby B was also a boy. Two boys…Just what I wanted.

Skip forward four years. These boys are exactly what I wanted. They love to hunt, fish, trap, camp. They take out the trash (with a little help) and I haven’t had to buy (nor will I) a single costly hair bow. And the definitely have me wrapped around their fingers.

What I didn’t realize is I would be getting constant tackling from playing football in my living room. There would be body slamming each other down onto the floor and pouncing on brother until he cries “calf rope.” There is jumping head first from the top of the dresser to see if the batman cape really helps him fly. I was unaware of the constant need to shoot anyone or anything that moves in our house with a Nerf gun. No one is safe. Lego blocks become football fields and bathrooms become run through tunnels for the football team. Toy hammers become weapons of mass destruction. I didn’t realize my cherished knick-knacks would become shattered dust and that no picture is safe even if it hangs on the wall. They don’t do it on purpose, they are just rambunctious boys.

I didn’t realize how exhausting boys are.

“Mother’s of little boys work from son up until son down,” or so the quote goes. I’m not real sure about that. The boys go to bed around 8pm and I am usually still gluing back the broken item of the day. I awake at 5 am so I can do dishes, laundry, and clean the toilet (don’t get me started on little boys and the toilet). I go to work just to take a breather so I can do it all again when I get home.

…and just to let you in on another little secret…I wouldn’t have it any other way. My boys are adventurous and fun. They are creative and hysterical. I’m so glad that God gave me what I wanted.

blogger-image--200502872

Keep up with Crystal at My Front Porch Looking In!

My Reality

These last 6 weeks have been a whirlwind.

I’d love to tell you that everything has been going great and that we are all settled in our new routine, but that’s just not the case. Now please hear me, there are great moments and most of the time our routine is pretty set but there are also moments that I’d rather not remember….

Like when I tried nursing the girls one last time bc I just wasn’t sure I was ready to give it up and they ended up screaming until their next feeding…

Or at 2am when both girls wake up screaming with poop blow-outs and nothing can calm them down so I end up just crying with them or getting mad at them…

How about during the day when I’m feeding the girls their food so the boys decide this will be when they will act out since they know I’m busy and I end up yelling at them out of frustration instead of disciplining in love…

And at the end of the day when the boys are down for the night and the girls are snoozing & I see that my house looks like a tornado has gone through it and I still have to finish washing bottles, putting laundry in the dryer & need to shower all before they need fed again…

That’s just the basics of what is really my reality.

 8131860324_03af9ce217

It’s been 6 weeks and I have yet to sleep longer than a 4hr stretch (and that’s back when they were only 2wks old!) I typically only get about a 2hr stretch – and that’s if I’m lucky! I’m pretty sure it’s starting to wear on me because I was in the worst mood ever yesterday for no reason. If you know me, you know I’m a pretty “uppity” person, if I’m going to be in a bad mood there is always a reason for it. Not yesterday. I woke up just mad. I warned the hubby and thankfully he is a God-sent and did everything he could to make sure I started to feel better. Good man I have that’s for sure.

I know I sound like a Debbie-Downer but you guys, this is real life. All that stuff I post on facebook on how I’ve been super productive and things are going great – well, I post it because it helps me see that even though I have rough nights with the girls and am super busy during the day – those little happy moments are what make it worth it. Those happy times get me through the rough ones.

 8131835455_6c6c260e27

How do you get through the rough moments in life?

Keep up with Michelle at The Momma Bird!

How I Met My Valentine Wrap Up

I loved sharing all of these Valentine stories over the past few weeks. I hope you enjoyed reading them! Here are all of the “How I Met My Valentine” stories for you to read again:

Amanda and Scott

Kristen and Joey

Sarah and Keith

Jamie

Wendi and Jim

Thank you again to everyone that contributed a story!

 

 

 

How I Met My Valentine: Jennifer and Korey

messy 014In honor of  February being the month of love and because this blog is for my kiddos to read when they get bigger, I thought I’d share how I met my very own sweet Valentine!
Surprisingly, Korey and I grew up only a few miles away from each other, went to the same christian school, but never really knew each other until one fateful day at the lake…
In fact, if you’d like to know- it was there, at that same lake, with Korey that I had my first kiss…well, ok- it wasn’t technically with Korey, sadly, it was with his best friend, but Korey was there the whole time- kicking a bottle cap around on the ground and wishing it was him, instead of his friend I was kissing. (ok, I added that last part, but I like to think that’s what he was doing- not just wishing I would leave his friend alone) :)
After that fateful first kiss…we went our own ways for a few years, only to take up our friendship, again, after we hit high school. I was a year ahead of Korey in school, but that didn’t stop me from having a little crush on this cute guy who barely resembled that dorky, tight black jean and baseball cap wearing kid that I met in the park years earlier. I found reason after reason to put myself in his path, all to no avail. I asked him for rides to school, I was friends with his friends, I talked to him before church and plagued his family with invitations over to my parent’s house for dinner…but, never once did he ask me to a dance or out on a date…what a bummer!! Good thing I make a lasting impression (or maybe my persistence finally paid off) because a few years later, when we both were out of highschool- he got bored enough that he started calling his old friends to see what they were up to…apparently no one else was home but me and I’ve never been more thankful for my lack of a life and for my amazing ability to talk and talk and talk some more!! Korey must have been impressed with it, too, because less than 2 years later I finally convinced the man of my dreams to give me his last name!! :)
I love you, my sweet Valentine, and I’m incredibly thankful that you chose me to be your wife! It seems like so long since our first Valentine’s Day together…and even though our love, now, more closely resembles playdoh hearts than expensive jewelry and flashy nights out, I think it gets sweeter and sweeter with each passing year!

How I Met My Valentine: Jamie

image
I met my Valentine on a blind date set up by my mom and his sister who taught together, about 8 years ago. My mom gave me his number (given by his sister) and he called me on January 4, 2005. We talked pretty much all day every day on the phone (because we lived 3 hours apart). We didn’t know what each looked like but fell in love with each others personalities. 2 weeks later, he finally came in town to take me on a date. He actually called me early afternoon to see if he could come meet me before we went out that night. I said yes, even though I was in my sweats and wasn’t about to get my makeup on that early to meet him. He came over and we hit it off. He left that afternoon to get ready for our date and came back to pick me up. That night, after our date, I knew I would marry that guy, despite how much he talked my ear off. :)
We got engaged in August, not even 8 months later, after we met, and were married by June of 2006, the next year. We have twin boys that will turn 2 in march and are more in love with each other than ever. Watching him with our boys makes me love him even more. I’m so thankful and blessed to call him my husband and father/ baby daddy of my kids! So blessed