Are Your Multiples in Different Classes?
Some of you may not even be at this point, but we’ve all thought about it. Will I put my twins in the same class or different classes when they’re in school?
The Crazies were just finishing up their 3’s program at our beloved preschool. I sat down with their teacher for our final conference and she started talking about the teachers for the 4’s program. While all were good, she felt that each of the Crazies would do better with a specific teacher. She also dropped the bomb that they typically split twins by the 4’s program anyway.
I didn’t have a problem with it. The Crazies are not attached at the hip. They don’t do everything together. A little time away might actually be good for them. So, I didn’t fight it.
Some people do. I didn’t. To each their own, right?
As the summer started, I was excited to think about all of the things we could do together. I was also excited because the Crazies were SO much more independent and could really hang out with each other without having me involved every two seconds. Don’t get me wrong…I love the Crazies, but after almost 4 years of playing cruise director, it was time for them to start playing on their own.
It lasted for approximately 2 weeks (if that…let’s be honest). Then the fighting started…and it never ended.
Not only did I still have to come up with things to do, but I also had to play referee. I was so tired by the time August came around that if I hadn’t already agreed to split them, I would have requested it at that point.
We got our letters. They had different teachers. All was right in the preschool world.
School started. I had to attend two separate orientations. I sat through two different speeches about how the year would go. I realized that their teachers are very different and yet very appropriately matched to the Crazies. One was soft spoken and sweet and one was more humorous and boisterous. It was all working out.
Now, how would the Crazies be when the first day of school rolled around? Would they be sad to say good-bye? Would they want to separate? Would they cry? Geez…I HATE crying kids on the first day of school! That would not be tolerated!
So, we discussed… ad nauseam
The first day was here and we were all dressed and ready to roll. They told me they understood that they were going to different classes and they were okay with it. We dropped Matt off first. He barely said good-bye to us. Then we walked down the hall to Hailey’s class and her teacher complimented her dress. That’s pretty much all you have to do with Hailey, so they were a perfect match!
Then I was free!!
So, now we’re a few weeks into the school year and here is what I’ve noticed:
- The Crazies don’t mind going into separate rooms.
- They’re getting along better in general.
- They find each other on the playground.
- They are VERY happy in their classes.
- Hailey insists on Matt coming to pick her up every day because, as she says, “he makes me proud.”
- They hug when they say good-bye and when they say hello.
- They have something to discuss in the car or at the dinner table.
- They love to talk about how their classes were different.
- I have see differences in their confidence and personalities in general now that they’ve been split up. It’s been wonderful for them to be able to grow as a separate entity.
What about you? How did you decide? Was there a policy at your school? How did it effect the kids?
I chose to put mine in different classes also. I also noticed they get along better at home. They enjoy having their own corners of the world for 8 hours a day!! They each make their own group of friends and also say hi on the playground. Blake always goes into Bethany’s class and picks her up. They like it that way!! I chose to separate them because they were really fighting at home. Being around someone too much can be overwhelming to anyone!
I picked up on subtle signs in preschool. When one boy brought in a snack, the students thanked both my boys. When they got home from school, it was a race to see who could get to me first to tell about their day. Neither went over well as someone’s feelings were always hurt. Although we separated them in kindergarten, they did share their fourth-grade class together. Even now as high-school juniors, they share a few classes together because their high school is very small. There are definite advantages and disadvantages. For us, however, separation has always worked out best.
I LOVE this post! I’m an elementary school teacher and a mom of twin girls. Right now they are in a home daycare situation and I’m not sure what we’re going to do about preschool. But almost every year I have at least one twin sibling in my 2nd grade class. Our school typically splits twins also. I think it fosters independence and lets them be more individuals.
Yes! We separated our twins from the start (last year at age 3 in preschool) and it has worked so well for us. For me the biggest issue was having them known and called by name, by teachers and students alike (they are identical). Having their own experiences/teachers/friends has been a wonderful experience for them!!! Not without some uncomfortableness at first (for one twin, mainly) but I really feel like it strengthened her and is a normal part of adjusting to school. I love that they get to see each other throughout the day at school (in the hallways, bathrooms, recess, etc) and that they are able to have just a little time apart to get to know themselves a bit better. They are really happy and doing well. Sure, it’s harder juggling two (or three, I have an older kid too!) classes, but that is what most parents with multiple singletons do and it’s not that bad! Thanks for the great post!
This post is so timely. I have 4 yr old BBB’s.and they have been in the same class in the past for their Mothers Day Out Program. This year I chose to keep them in the same class again. I have thought all along that I would keep the boys together in kindergarten and then separate. Now after three weeks of their MDO program and seeing how they “play off each other” I’m beginning to come around that separating them for K might be the way we go. I know every family and kid is different, but this seems to be the hardest decision I’ve had to make for my trio so far. I need a crystal ball! Thanks for the great post!
My two just started Kdg and we opted to split them up this year. We felt it was best to do it now for a couple reasons:
1. Ms. Smarty Pants often outdid her brother and we felt he deserved some space of his own to shine w/o his sister/mother-stand-in nagging him.
2. Sister depended on brother a LOT emotionally – she hated to go to daycare/PreK without him if he was sick – she’d try to bargain to get to stay home, too. She needed to learn to be ok on her own.
Sis did express some nervousness about being on her own before school started but several weeks in and everyone is great! They’ve both made a couple new friends and can share their own experiences each day. They do admit that they play together at recess and sit together at lunch sometimes but its not “just” them…its with their friends, too. They don’t have to compete over homework as much and they seem more excited to play together in the evenings and on the weekends now. All 3 kids played together, completely on their own last weekend, ALLLLLL day w/o any fighting or refereeing from us parents!
Hopefully the rest of the year continues to go as well!