Kids ages five to 12 years old often exhibit self-doubt. They don’t think they’re good at a particular task, even though they may actually be quite good at it. Here are some things you can do to bolster your kids’ self-esteem when self-doubt is surfacing.
1. Praise your kids’ abilities and accomplishments. Praise often. Praise publicly and privately. Proudly display visible signs of your kids’ accomplishments (i.e., purple ribbons, certificates of achievement, etc.).
2. If your kids discuss someone else who is far better than they are at the specified task, reply by stating that there will always be people who are better than and worse than they are at each and every task. If they devalue their own accomplishments just because someone else can out-perform them, then they set themselves up for failure (or perceived failure). Those other people can be examples from which your kids can learn. They can be role models. They can raise the bar for your kids. But they should never be the reason your kids consider themselves poor performers. It doesn’t take perfection to warrant celebration; after all, we are human, mere mortals, so we’d never celebrate if we were waiting for sheer perfection. Instead, accomplishments (even if somewhat imperfect) should be celebrated. Oh, and don’t forget the accomplishments of incremental improvement.
3. If your kids truly do not perform well on a specified task, ask your kids what they can do to try to improve. Help them brainstorm if they struggle with coming up with their own solutions. If there can be no sufficient improvement, then help your kids understand that no one is good at everything. Then, remind your kids of what they ARE good at.
By following these steps, you can help your self-doubting kids gain perspective and self-esteem.
Candi from Nannies4Hire.com sent over this fantastic post about boosting kids’ self esteem, I had to share it.