How I handled Birthdays for Multiples
The Crazies turn 4 on Saturday…I’ve accomplished more with these two in 4 years than I EVER did in 4 years of college (except that whole “getting an education”thing).
I seriously can’t believe it’s been four years. I’m getting old (it’s all about me, right?)!
Anyway, I wanted to take this monumental occasion to discuss birthdays of multiples. How does one make them special? How do you make them feel that their birthday is unique and just theirs?
Well, you don’t because it’s not just their day. They share it with one, or two, or three others and that is just fine. They’re used to sharing, right?
I really go back and forth on this one. See, my sister and I were born 2 years and 1 day apart. When we were young, our family parties were for both of us. When we got a bit older, we were allowed to have our own parties, but I think they were on alternating years. We typically got two cakes. We got our favorite meal on the day of our birthday (if possible…I always requested lobster like some sort of diva). There were things that made us feel special even though our birthdays were so close
So, as I approach this weekend, here is how I’m handling it and I’m very interested in how you guys do things too:
- The party – this year we are having a joint party at a bounce house place. There will be boys and girls there. At this point, gender really doesn’t matter. I think we’ll start doing separate parties when it does or when one wants a sleepover…I’m not going to be that Mom. Until then, one party, one price tag, one happy Mama, two happy Crazies. Will you ever give your children separate parties?
- The gifts – I found this awesome thing on Pinterest (see below) that really got me thinking about the gifts. There is no need to go crazy. They’re getting something they want, something they can wear, something they need, and something they can read. I love this idea and it’s really helped me keep it simple. How do you handle gifts? Do they all get the same thing or the same amount?
- Birthday meals – Since the Crazies’ birthday falls on a weekend, they will each get one day of their favorites. I have no idea how I’ll decide who goes first, but whatever I choose, I’m sure I’ll get it wrong. Gosh…the 4s are going to be so much fun! Do you give each child a special birthday meal?
- Singing of the Happy Birthday song – God, I hate this song…I mean, I hate it with a passion. It’s rarely sung well and someone always manages to screw it up when it actually does sound decent. Then there’s the whole thing that some genius added the “cha cha cha.” Enough already…we’re singing it once. Do you sing Happy Birthday to each child?
- Any other traditions – I love the idea of putting helium balloons all over the birthday kids’ ceiling so they wake to a sky of balloons, but, let’s face it, mine would probably get scared witless and scream bloody murder and it would ruin their birthday forever and ever…that’s how we roll in Casa de Crazy. I think we’re going to keep it simple this year. They get to open their birthday presents from Mom and Dad as soon as they wake up. They get their meals. That’s about all the gas I have left in my tank. Do you have any other birthday traditions?
We sing the song twice. We only have big family bdays and each gets to invite 2 friends (that is consistent with my older single who gets 4 friends plus family). The twins and I share a birthday, so I make special grown up drinks and buy balloons for myself. The twins get their own cakes with whatever theme they want. All 3 of us open gifts. Everyone is crazy for hrs. Birthdays are fun around here, only I feel not as special since that day was all for me for 35 years. Now I have to share..grr. The twins don’t seem to care that we all share.
I hate sharing too 😉
My husband and I first saw/heard of the 4 gift rule about a year ago, and we knew that it was perfect for us and our way of thinking. It helps me keep the random gift buying (you know the STUFF that takes over a home and turns it into a playhouse) from happening, since I only have so many gifts I want to make them count. My twinkies are only 18 months so we’ve only experienced one Christmas and one Birthday so far. As far as different traditions, my mom gave me these beautiful cupcakes “jars” (for lack of a better word) for bday purposes. The morning of their bday every year I plan on putting their favorite snacks (this might change w age to an actual cupcake) for them to “open.” Just a small treat to start the day. 🙂
so. this is the first year that they are getting their own cake. they always get their own gifts, but might get one big thing that they can share (for ex: christmas they got a kitchen). i do like the idea of doing the 4 gifts. my kids generally get things they need as gifts anyway (they get SO excited to get new toothbrushes, so i started putting little bows on them! ha!!).
and i have never met another human being who hated the happy birthday song as much as i do! i hate having it sung to me, i hate singing it, everything about it. it just makes me so uncomfortable!!!
As much as I hate the happy birthday song, we do it twice because i think it sounds even more screwy when you’re trying to cram two kids names in it and everyone puts the names in it in their own preferred order. So two cakes, and two songs….i think that’s only fair when they have to share so much else in this life. They may be twins, but they are also individuals and I like to treat them as such.
We always have had a joint party for all 4 of my boys (birthdays 10 days apart). When my littles turned 3 (this past birthday) I started to give them each a special day like I already had set up for my biggest. On each kids day he got 2 normal plus 1 special balloon (since he turned 3). I tied dollar bills to my oldest sons balloons. Each kid got to pick out the cereal at the store for his day. He got to open his special present in the morning, and got to pick what we had for dinner. He also got his own cake flavor/icing/decorations (smaller, of course) while the rest of us had cupcakes. It was exhausting. BUT my kids loved loved loved it and I am planning on doing again. But this year I will probably space it a bit more…so that there is one kid/week instead of 3 kids in one week…that about did me in!
Oh and I made sure to sign them all up for the birthday freebies…lots have a 2 week before/after period so we got lots of free ice cream/treats for all 4 at once! 🙂
Our girls are four and thus far we have only done one joint family party each year. The first year they each got their own smash cake and then we had another cake for everyone else. Years 2-4 we just had one big cake. They are asking for their own cakes next year. I think that’s a concession we can make. We decided the first year that we would always sing the birthday song to each of them every year. Amelia gets it first on odd years and Julia on even years. As for gifts, they always get the same number. Some are bigger gifts they share, while others are just for them. We don’t have a rule about how many we get them, but I don’t like feeling like I live in a daycare, so we don’t get too carried away.
We sing the song twice. They each get their own cake (the first two years it was cupcakes for everyone; for their 3rd birthday Will begged for a superhero cake and Alex for a lion cake). They can have their own parties if/when they ask for them; I don’t see why not since other kids get their own parties!
Gifts are roughly equal.
Good question about getting their own birthday meal. So far they like most of the same foods so it hasn’t come up but in future I’ll let them each request their own favorites.
I still have sometime to figure most of this out considering mine just turned 1. We already sing twice, but we will have joint parties until they are older want want sleep overs or just want separate parties. Gift wise, I think that pintrest idea is a good one. I went overboard this year. I just can’t help myself. As for dinner I have decided they will get to have whatever they want on their birthday. If that means I am spaghetti and tacos for dinner that’s fine with me. It just happens one night a year. I am excited to see what future birthdays have in store. It all goes so fast!
1. Yep, I will when they ask.
2. We spend a certain amount on all three and stick with that.
3. My mom always did this, and we have done this as well. I made their favorite meals since age one and will continue to do so. With them having to share a bday, I’m sure we will do it on separate days unless they want the same thing.
4. We have sang with both names and also two different times. I think it depends
5. I also think mine would be scared with all the balloons. This year the twins’ bday is on a weekday, so I’ll take them to do something in the morning after big sister goes to school and we will open gifts when daddy gets home from work for the day. We are starting to try and plan special events or trips around their bday.