How I Really Cope With Twins
I posted last month about what replies I’d like to give to the silly questions about having twins. One question isn’t actually that silly and that’s: how doyou cope with twins. When Molly was born there was a set of twins at our postnatal group and I remember wondering how the mum coped especially as I was feeling completely out of my depth at the time. It’s a natural question, I guess. Having one young baby is hard enough let alone two. So here are a few things which got me through the last 18 months.
1. I would love to tell people that I cope with the help of prescription drugs and alcohol, but that’s not quite true. However, I do think you need a few treats to get you through those early sleepless months. The tiredness is so all encompassing you need something to keep the edge off. My saviour was chocolate and very sugary coffee. In fact anything with lots of caffeine and sugar. Ok it wasn’t very good for me, but it kept me going. Sometimes adrenaline just isn’t enough.
2. I also joked that I had lots of help: maids cleaners and nannies. I would love that to be true. I did, however, get a cleaner three times while the twins were tiny and it was wonderful. It was hard keeping up with the housework while I was pregnant so the house really needed a good clean. If I could afford it I would still get a cleaner now. I wish I’d asked everyone for money towards it when the girls were born.
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| Start them young with the household tasks |
3. Getting everything important in duplicate. It’s very frustrating when you lose that essential item. For some reason having twins means you’re more likely to lose it or leave behind (although maybe that’s just me). These are the things I have bought extra of: muslin cloths, dummies, teething gel, calpol, nappy cream, vests, sleepsuits, socks, bins, cups or bottles spoons, hats and of course nappies and wipes. In fact these would be a good present for an expectant mum. Not very glamorous perhaps but much more useful than tiny baby clothes they will grow out of in five minutes.
4. Finding a twins club. I find this one essential. Having twins is different from having a single baby. At a normal toddler group people are often amazed by how you cope with twins, or horrified. Sometimes its nice to talk to someone else in the same position as you. I was lucky because I have a twins club within walking distance of my house. If there isn’t one then look out for forums or other support on the internet. It does help to have other people who understand. By the way you will need earplugs. A room full if crying babies gets very noisy.
5. Taking as many pictures of them cuddled up together or holding hands together as possible. I know this isn’t the most practical thing but sometimes it does get tough having two. It helps to look back at those beautiful images and realise how wonderful having twins is.
So how did you cope? Or did you?
Keep up with Rebecca at Here Come the Girls
Learning to become organized helped me a lot! I was never a very organized person until I had twins. It is essential to be organized. I found having things in there place and and organized plan always helped me, even if it didn’t stay organized for long!
Great post! I find I do the one with pictures too.
I think the biggest thing for me was setting realistic expectations for myself. As a new mom, you get tons of advice, and with twins, a lot of it isn’t going to work. Don’t let the guilt set in! It’s ok if your house is messy and you haven’t vaccuumed in a month. 🙂 It’s ok if you supplement with formula (or even formula feed exclusively). It’s ok if your eat frozen meals one-handed while jiggling a baby. You are mothering twins–something that very few of us are lucky enough to experience. Be kind to yourself.
Thanks for having my post. It’s very fitting as the twins were two this week. It feels like I’ve reached a huge milestone.
Great pics as ever, Rebecca! I wish I had taken more pics when they were little but I was just so damn busy and stressed. Number one is fab – I survived on cola and chocolate. Mind you, I still do.
I do believe that having your twins pitch in with household chores starting from an early age really helps. Not only do they help you but they help themselves as they learn to be more independent. For instance, when I couldn’t stand making one more peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I turned it over to my kids. From second grade on they’ve been making their own school lunches. What a relief!
great advice! Now to find that house keeper!
I was lucky enough to find a few other mothers of triplets/quads on Long Island and with them 25 years ago we formed MOST (Mothers of Supertwins). I could not have made it through the last 25 yrs without them. Exhale, I made it and my kids are absolutely wonderful, wonderful adults! MOST is here to help other families “Every Step of the Way” from conception through college!
A multiples group is my best source. After I quit my job to stay at home I’ve formed my closest friendships there. If you can find one that meets at night where you don’t bring the kids it’s even better 🙂 I also coped by calling my mom….all the time. And arranging for her to visit. I could get through the week if I knew she was only 3 weeks away with helping arms! Any help from you mother in law is also welcome. I’m not sure if my mother in law and I would be as close as we are if it weren’t for the kids. We often don’t see eye to eye on things but she loves the kids and loves babysitting… I love her 🙂 And the internet…. how did our parents do it without the internet!!!!