The move from cribs to big beds: Some like to call it a right of passage; some, the unavoidable jump into being “big kids.” I like to call it The Loss of a Mother’s Sanity.

Since our girls started climbing out of their cribs, I had been avoiding the move. First, I threatened. That didn’t work, so I resorted to crib tents. (You know, the ones that have the warning that says “Not to keep a child in, only to keep cats out.”) Anyway, the tents worked for a while until Courtney figured out how to unzip hers. So I stuffed the zipper way down. I thought I was so clever! That is, until Chrissa reached her little hand over to Courtney’s crib, pulled out the zipper, and then Courtney did the rest. It seemed like a losing battle; time for beds.

Mark and I tried to make the transition really exciting for the girls. And, believe me, the next few months were very exciting for me.

We moved our twins into their new beds in July. They were two-and-a-half years old.

Day One

Chrissa and Courtney got out of their beds and played for three hours. Fine. I knew this would not be successful overnight. I could deal with grumpy toddlers for one afternoon, then put them to bed early.

Day Two

My little escape artists left their room and proceeded to destroy their big brother Christian’s room. Soap all over his bed and floor, you get the picture. Time to put a lock on their door.

Day Three

How nice, they were forced to stay in their room! Even if they didn’t nap, at least they were getting “quiet time,” right? Wrong. They pulled every article of clothing out of their drawers and off their closet hangers, and threw them all over the room. You couldn’t even walk into the battle zone. Time to move the drawers into the closet and put a lock on that door.

Day Four

I think they slept this day from sheer exhaustion. I thought we were on our way. Think again.

Day Five

The twins have a jack-and-jill bathroom they share with their brother. We locked the door that goes into the bathtub (with a toilet) for obvious reasons. The sink, however, is still attached to their room. So, we put a baby gate there. Do you know what twins say to baby gates? “Ha! There is one of you and two of us!” They pushed down the gate and opened the cabinets. (Yes, the cabinets are “babyproofed” as well. They are not twin-proof, however, especially to twins who have a very dexterous big brother who taught them how to open these things.) They got out foam soap, shampoo, toothpaste, de-tangle hair spray, and two bottles of Robitussin (no, these did not have baby-proof caps), and proceeded to dump their contents all over the floors, walls, and mirrors. That was fun to clean up. Plus, I got to call my old buddies at Poison Control in case they ingested anything. So, we took everything out of the bathroom and re-installed the baby gate.

Day Six

The baby gate was knocked down again, but this time the twins went for the sink. They stuffed animals, blankets, whatever, in the sink and turned on the water. How fun, their own swimming pool! That night, Mark cut off their water under the sink.

By this point, there was nothing else to destroy. All they had was toys and beds. They do manage to strip their sheets off the beds many days, but I can handle that. Almost every day they have a party in their room. In fact, right now, 3 months after the transition to big girl beds, I hear them up there giggling, and occasionally I hear a loud “thump.” Should I investigate? Nah, they are just having “quiet time,” remember?