I’ll be the first to admit it…sometimes I forget I have two kids.
I know. How can she do that? She went through IVF. She carried them for 38.5 weeks! She still has the hideous c-section scar (along with the misplaced belly button, thank you very much). She blocked out the first two years like a typical Mom of Multiples! How could she forget???
Well, I’ll tell you…it typically happens when one of the Crazies (specifically, boy-Crazy) is in the middle of a meltdown. Let me tell you, the meltdowns have been EPIC lately.
They have been loud.
They have been physical.
They have been exhausting.
I now know the reason that I work out all the time…just in case I have to drag 32 pounds of wriggly, screaming, slapping, hitting, kicking toddler through a parking lot while still holding the hand of girl-Crazy.
She is definitely getting the short end of the stick lately.
She listens to us.
She can occupy herself without needing me every 12 seconds.
She can be told “no” without flipping out and acting like the world is ending.
She thinks her brother doesn’t like her…because he tells her that he doesn’t like her.
She has been snapped at when I feel that her safety is in jeopardy (like I said…the tantrums have been very physical).
Her hand has been grabbed roughly in a parking lot because my adrenaline is flowing like lava through a volcano.
I hate to say that I forget that she’s there during these times of duress, but sometimes I just need to concentrate on the squeaky wheel. The problem is, he’s always been the squeaky wheel and the guilt is starting to creep in.
I know that she-Crazy values our time together. I try to make it as special as possible. I apologize if I snap at her and explain that I just didn’t want her to get hurt, but sometimes, I don’t think it’s enough.
Sometimes I just want her to know that she’s just as important.
Sometimes I just want her to know that I would rather be spending that time reading her a story than wrestling he-Crazy into his pull-up.
Sometimes I just want him to understand that he’s not the only child I have.
Sometimes I just wish that my final thought at the end of one of these tantrums wasn’t, “oh right…you’re here too.”
If you’re up for some funny and not so much “poor me, I’m such a guilty Mommy” stuff, come visit us over here!
Amen! And it is worse when the girl crazy..I have one too although we call them craisins, is in the middle of perfect older brother and needy twin boy craisin who throws fit after fit after fit everywhere. I often feel sad for her and try so hard to remember to give her positive praise so she doesn’t think that you have to be a needy craisin to get me to notice her. Not much solice, in that, but for me I am glad to know you feel this too.
Both my twins were the crazies, it was my older son who was left out! He ended up getting crazy, too, but thankfully they all grew out of it 🙂
You’re on the right track; just keep reinforcing her positives, it will be important when she’s in school later. You don’t want a teacher that only focuses on the disruptive kids and ignores the quieter ones. Same thing!
Poor mom. We’re so hard on ourselves. But I completely understand. Sometimes I would catch myself snapping at the “innocent” twin just because he was standing right next to the “guilty” twin. It’s tough.
Oh yes…definitely not the only Mom who’s been there! I have those moments OFTEN – not even over tantrums but just the whiny, squeaky, attention seeking child(ren) and then 1 gets the shaft.
Happens in the classroom all the time, too….all. the. time.
aww…you are too cute!! As I have posted before, I don’t have multiples, but I DO have two children, (boy 4yr, girl sassy 6yr!)….I can completely feel your frustration and I am relieved to here that these types of situations are “normal” (for lack of a better word!) –now I am off to visit your blog!! 🙂