Keeping the gender of your baby secret can be fun. Secrets can surprise. Secrets can keep your head on straight when your head does not feel like it’s on straight.
Which is why I kept the sex of my baby secret – during my pregnancy. It was fabulous. My family didn’t know, my husband didn’t know, I didn’t even know if I was having a boy or a girl.
I will tell you how keeping the sex of my children a secret helped me through pregnancy, read below:
1. The Baby Registry was Easier
Green, white, and light gray were my color palette for any and all products and purchases. Swaddlers, Bedsheets, Furniture, and Onesies. Everything matched. Boring, you say? Nonsense. I’m a big believer in crafting your colors around neutral shades. The best part? I knew that almost everything would be suitable for any potential future baby. Even if my baby turned out to be the opposite sex. Just call me smarty-pants.
2. Suspense kept people interested
During my first pregnancy, everyone was interested in the process. My second pregnancy? Not so much. Been there, done that. How to keep folks (selfishly) mindful of me and genuinely excited about my second baby, almost as much as they were about the first? Let them sweat out the suspense! Mwha-ha-ha! (That’s a maniacal laugh there.) You can imagine the amount of phone calls and overflow of attention I received when my second baby was born, just so they could find out if it was a boy or a girl.
3. A genderless baby grounded everyone’s perspective
This was perhaps the biggest perk. Instead of wasting time shopping and purchasing “all things hot pink” or everything “red and blue” earlier to childbirth, I actually focused more on what the baby would need. I was more prepared with practical and functional items – which actually I received those items at my baby shower! – at this point, my postpartum life was organized. When family and friends don’t know the gender of your baby, you suddenly get usable and neutral items like diapers, bottles, and onesies as gifts. Rather than an “oh so adorable, we just couldn’t resist buying this hot pink tutus.” for your baby.
4. I lived in the moment
I knew myself well enough at the time to know that, if I found out the gender of my baby, I’d project all sorts of hopes and expectations on my little tiny person before they were even born. I didn’t want to think about the “girl stuff” vs. “boy stuff” yet. Pink room, blue room. Dance lessons, baseball practice (You know the drill). Some would say I’m acting very sexist right now by even dividing these “girl boy concepts” up along gender lines… but I’m hoping you get where I’m going with this?.
I was pregnant with a baby, and that was all I needed to know. Pregnancy was pregnancy. The parenting direction and choices would come later. After that, baby – boy or girl – was born.
5. Getting through the fear of delivery
I was petrified of delivery. Literally PE-TRI-FIED. Most women I know are. The thought of the whole process – no matter how that baby ends up entering the world – scared me more than I like to admit. My saving grace? The thought of actually finding out if a boy or girl had been living in my belly all those months. (I know, I know… we all want healthy babies). But the build-up to the big reveal – boy or girl – served to additionally carry me through and calm my fears about giving birth most fabulously.)
Like I said, I gave up the opportunity to find out the gender of my baby. Gladly I can say: It was FUN!
Have you skipped finding out the gender of your baby? Let us know in the comment section below.